Monday, October 31, 2005

Encumbered

One of my friends told me that when I stopped posting on our e-group he would know that things were going well here in the Middle East. For him, he would rest easy that I did not have to unburden myself through my e-mails.

That isn't necessarily so. I am saying now that it ain't so.

I've been striking a balance between my tendency to go off-tangent on the things I MUST DO (i.e. work), the things I have been asked, and agreed to do (i.e. requests from friends, organizational stuff), and my regular, singular INDOLENCE.

These past two months have been pretty tough. I am feeling the regular downspin of my biorhythm on this job. "Romance of discontent" or not, I have been fending off the seeming lack of purpose on the job.

Bruce Lee wrote and acted one of my favorite cryptic lines ever put down on film in Enter the Dragon. In the opening sequence, Lee's master asks him: "Who is your opponent?" And Lee answers, "There is no opponent, because there is no I."

As unconnected as it may be, that line works for me.

I am encumbered by my own self, and not all the talent or the goodwill will prevent my personal meltdown if I allow it to happen.

Simply put, my best opponent is my own self.

So now, I'd go back to doing what I am supposed to do ... working hard and at the same time, watching and waiting for the relevant thing to say.

Expression can also be found in silence, and for my last quote today (my only Tom Clancy quotable) --- Silence is the greatest passion of all.

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