Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Letting Love Remain

It feels so wrong to celebrate anything in particular while someone in your immediate circle is grieving.

My colleague at the office who is also my flatmate is undergoing a personal crisis right now.  His mother passed away last night and so he must take an emergency leave.

I'm never been a fan of Valentine's Day.  I believe the whole holiday is an exercise replete with crass commercialism.  It's a convenient holiday for spending in between New Year's Day and the school holidays in March/April.

I believe love should be celebrated as often as possible.  One can never encapsulate the wonderful moments that give this life meaning, even though, realistically, those moments will make up 15% or less of my entire life.  But without those moments, life is assuredly less.

Love is not just a feeling you get.  True love means an entire appreciation of the other's personhood, and is a commitment between two partners.

It's about giving your best even at the worst of times.  It may not be the best that you have at all times, but you will try anyway.
It's leaning on someone else when you feel that you are weak, even though admitting to that weakness may be hard for you.  It's about being leaned on when you are needed that way.
It's the excitement to share your personal triumphs, and the ease by which you can share personal tragedy as well.
It's allowing yourself to be inspired to go harder and further, and to do the right thing because it's the right thing to do, even when no one is watching, and because that is how you should be.
It's accepting that you are not perfect, but to aspire for the perfectable.  To laugh without guilt, to enjoy with full enthusiasm, to experience without hesitation.
It's knowing that someone has your back and even when you receive advice you don't like to hear, it's being reassured someone cares enough for you to say something.
It's loving today for what it is, not encumbered by the past, and facing tomorrow with courage.
And of course, it is also about the pain of loss, of denial, of regret, when this love is lost - and it is only painful because the height you have ascended is the length of the fall on your descent.  Still, even knowing this, to hope and wait for love, and to keep on loving even in the darkest of times, for love conquers despair.

Letting the pain remain is just a mark on your heart that you will always mourn a loss, but it should also be about giving thanks to the One for giving you that gift.  I will never get over the people I have lost, because their memories stay with me and I will forever celebrate them.  It is because I have loved them that there will be others in the future.

It still feels wrong but the pain is the validation of  love.  I cannot comfort those who grieve that there will be no room for regret. Life has a way of denying you all that you want, but it still gives you a chance to strive for it.  There is never, never enough time to be with the ones you love, but in this world you take what you can and give what is in you to give.

I will let love remain in my heart to remind me of my place in this world.

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