Second Milepost

(Edit - January 27: Am reconstructing this from memory as something must have happened to the original post)

It's Day 24 of Year 2008 - and I'm marking this day by working, though I'm taking some time to laze away a few moments updating you what's been happening. I'd like to pat myself on the back for keeping to more than one month of solid work and sleep deprivation to complete the major set of salary adjustments for Company. This is the first of many hurdles that I expect to face this coming year.

Last year has been so up-and-down the peaks and valleys have settled into a bumpy drive. To celebrate that experience, I am dubbing this year the Year of No Expectations.

First, this is in part thanks to all the people who made last year special, and given the way things have turned out, expecting more would be a crime. Second, throughout the almost four years I have spent in Saudi Arabia, I have accomplished the very minimum of my expectations both personally and professionally. That there is still a wide gulf to bridge to get to the maximum goes without saying, but hey, I've gotten to first base. For me to move forward, perhaps I should concentrate less on the result but on how I'm getting there. That's the best way I could repay all the people who have shared me so many kindnesses.

And finally, as memory serves, I put on myself the onus of living my life with a greater sense of purpose, and part of this is to shatter my current set of expectations, and instead put myself in a constant state of BEING, not BECOMING.

(If that last part sounds evasive or Zen to you, well, tough luck!)

It would have been nice to share all of these realizations knowing that there is someone special who inspires me, or more importantly, that there is someone in particular whom I especially inspire. That would happen, or that would not, and given the recent disappointments I have had in this area, knowing that I am capable of feeling THAT FEELING is enough. What happens next is less within my control, so I'll have to let that be.

So for this year I honestly pray that I will be swept away, to be infused with a sense of wonder, and to shine a love that is ever-shining.

IT'S ALL TOO MUCH
(George Harrison / The Beatles)

It's all too much
It's all too much

When I look into your eyes, your love is there for me
And the more I go inside, the more there is to see

It's all too much for me to take
The love that's shining all around you
Everywhere, it's what you make
For us to take, it's all too much

Floating down the stream of time, of life to life with me
Makes no difference where you are or where you'd like to be

It's all too much for me to take
The love that's shining all around here
All the world is birthday cake,
So take a piece but not too much

Sail me on a silver sun, for I know that I'm free
Show me that I'm everywhere, and get me home for tea

It's all to much for me to see
A love that's shining all around here
The more I am, the less I know
And what I do is all too much

It's all too much for me to take
The love that's shining all around you
Everywhere, it's what you make
For us to take, it's all too much

It's too much.....It's too much

With your long blonde hair and your eyes of blue
With your long blonde hair and your eyes of blue

You're too much... too much too much too much ...

Postscript: This piece was composed for the "Magical Mystery Tour" album but it ended up on the soundtrack album of the "Yellow Submarine" movie. George's work is revealing in its simplicity. My original post had an embedded copy from Imeem.com, but it got killed in uploading. Ah, well.