Cold Realization

Show me a good and gracious loser, and I'll show you a failure.
-- Knute Rockne

Eid Mubarak!

So here I am in the office, trying to recover some of my fried brain cells from having to work during what is supposed to be our vacation. Well, IT IS salary increment computation time, and like it or not, people would want to see some form of salary increase on their paychecks within the first quarter of 2008. Then we get this directive that we have to get it done before January payroll. If holiday had not happened, I bet they would have steamrolled us to get it done before December payroll. You have to love management's devotion, but some fool is going to have to bear the brunt of getting the job done; in which case, IT'S ME!

(Maniacal laughter in the background).

I'm not really complaining; after all, it is my job portfolio and this is what it means to hold my job title. It's just ... yeah, I hate to admit it, this part of the year really tugs at those homesick heartstrings, and it has struck me that this season marks the third year I haven't spent Christmas back home. I absolutely hate the whole commercialization of the holiday season, and for some I may seem to be the prototypical Scrooge, I did appreciate Christmas for what it was and is --- an opportunity to be with the people one really cares about.

I would like to bitch about how the system's down for preventive maintenance.
I would like to bitch about my aching body parts.
I would like to bitch about the timing of my work and events in the year.
Even if I shouldn't --- there isn't any predetermined unfairness here.

To be fair, I have friends, some of whom have children who help fill the void. But try as I may, capturing all these feelings and experiences, and bottling them into a drink, if I may, would not slake my thirst for the people and things I miss back home. It just isn't the same, and it will never be.

It's hard to be lonely -- and even in the midst of other people, it becomes all the more obvious that I'm alone. Put any silver lining on this, it just isn't possible --- so for this year, I'm asserting that this state of events is unacceptable.

Until next year.