Monday, September 04, 2006


I've just discovered, that, outside of self-deprecation and toilet humor, I am totally humorless.

If you find that funny, you know what I mean. If you don't, that means I'm worse off than I thought.

Really now, there should be some form of amusement people would derive from what I am writing. Maybe my life is utterly boring. Oh well, it's not as if I'm selling populist literature (this is, as always, a litmus test of my readability, and so far... well, I do hope you get the picture).

Still, there is probably some balance somewhere -

Where there is beauty, there is ugliness.
When something is right,
Something else is wrong.
Knowledge and ignorance
Depend on each other.
It has been like this since the beginning.
How could it be otherwise now?
Wanting to chuck out one
And hold onto the other
Makes for a ridiculous comedy.
You must still deal with everything
Even when you say it’s wonderful.
- Ryokan (1758-1831)

So maybe the balance is that I am capable of deep thought. Still, deep thoughts don't earn you plaudits at your standard get-together parties. Or maybe I just shouldn't expect too much from get-together parties.

I've known for a long time that I was never a "glad-hander" and having to be one, for sake of necessity, makes me feel cheap and fake. Or, maybe just like what it implies, I'm simply too self-absorbed and don't care much for people.

I know I'm hardly making sense (fried neurons running 14 hours straight), but I'm grasping at this duality thing like a Socratic dialogue. Only of course I'm doing a dog's dinner out of it.

I love you Mom! (Now where did that come from? Ah! It's always the line stars come up with when they have nothing useful to say.) Yeah, but that one's true, among the few true things in my life. I do my love my mother.

At least she laughs at my odd jokes. What can she do, she gave life to me!

Now, for some classic inspiration from Joey Ayala:


Ang katotohanan ay may dalawang mukha
Ang tama sa iyo ay mali sa tingin ng iba

May puti, may itim, liwanag at dilim
May pumapaibabaw at may sumasailalim.

Ang tubig ay sa apoy, ang lupa ay sa langit
Ang araw ay sa gabi, ang lamig naman sa init
Kapag nawala ang isa, ang isa'y di mababatid
Ang malakas at ang mahina'y magkapatid.

Magkabilaan ang mundo
Magkabilaan ang mundo
Magkabilaan ang mundo

Ang hirap ng marami ay sagana ng iilan
Ang nagpapakain, walang laman ang tiyan
Ang nagpapanday ng gusali at lansangan
Maputik ang daan tungo sa dampang tahanan.

May mga haring walang kapangyarihan
Meron ding alipin na mas malaya pa sa karamihan
May mga sundalo na sarili ang kalaban
Ay may pinapaslang na nabubuhay nang walang hanggan.

Magkabilaan ang mundo
Magkabilaan ang mundo

Magkabilaan ang mundo

May kaliwa't may kanan sa ating lipunan
Patuloy ang pagtutunggali, patuloy ang paglalaban
Pumanig ka, pumanig ka, huwag nang ipagpaliban pa
Ang 'di makapagpasiya ay maiipit sa gitna.

Bulok na ang haligi ng ating lipunan
Matibay ang pananalig na ito'y palitan
Suriin mong mabuti ang iyong paninindigan
Pagka't magkabilaan ang mundo.

Magkabilaan ang mundo
Magkabilaan ang mundo
Magkabilaan ang mundo

One thing's for sure, though, when I commit a boo-boo I can crack up anyone, any time of day. Such stupidity can only smack of genius. Such, too, is my humorlessness.


eveningdrive said...

I beg to differ.

I remember a fellow with whom I played Bandit Kings of Ancient China, and attacked the province controlled by Li Ying but made a mistake of letting the AI resolve the combat. A most unlikely defeat was the result and was foloowed by an incredulous look, a reload of the game and a vulgar promise of revenge at the PC monitor: "Why you!!! I'll show you!!! You better say goodbye to your sweet chastity because I'm going to fuck you up real good!!!"

I also remember a third composer of the immortal jingles "Prince Jacky" and the various Eraserheads adaptations, especially the "SHARE song" which wasn't toilet humor.

And the cornerstone of SHARE for more than a decade saying that he's "too self-absorbed and don't care much for people"?



A sense of humor is more that just being funny. Its the ability to look at life and not take it too seriously when there is no need to. Self-deprecation, in a healty manner, is a gift only so few have. It shows stoicism and humilty and grace and wit all rolled into one.

Parang combo-meal.


Otep said...

My fishing expedition worked! It worked! Alhamdulilah!

But seriously, thanks for the vote of confidence. S'lamat!