It's Probably Me

It's almost too easy to deflect the semi-embarrassment that many people expect from me when they ask my age and then ask if I'm married.

No, I'm not married, I would say. There are a hundred different reasons (perhaps you can even say a thousand, if you like) why it is so, and if you choose to believe them, I can start a list. Of course the catch is if you would believe.

Some people just can't get away from expectations. What else is our purpose in life, they would say. Men who hold out being single as long as you have must be gay, are you sure you aren't?

And then comes the right question, to put it into perspective: Do you really want to get married? As if this were a rhetorical question that asks: Do you really want to be happy?

It could be called semi-tragic, but when I answer all these questions most people walk away with two conclusions:

1) That fellow is downright strange.
2) Hmmm. Too picky. He will die alone.
3) It won't be long before he admits he's gay.

Ehem, I seem to be jumping the gun here. If people would bother to listen, before they conclude anything about me, my state of being is simply explained.

(And before I start, since I'm writing parenthetically, there was a time that one of my uncles, in a drunken stupor, debated me on this subject. It was a good thing I wasn't drunk at the time. I could almost quote him word for word. But then, that would be unfair. Abusing drunks that way would be like stealing milk from a baby.)

I am myself, first and foremost, defined only by my BEING.

I am not just someone's son, brother, friend, enemy, employee, co-worker, fellow citizen. Hard as I may try to be someone's husband or life partner, right now I am not.

I am not because several series of choices brought me to this time of my life where I don't have a relationship. Some would say wrong timing. I, on the other hand, would admit that many a time, I had fallen into foolhardiness. Came on too strong too soon for one girl. Came on too weak, too little, or too late for another. Not altogether impossible to change direction, but not an easy task either.

I wish that there would be someone in my life right now, but my wishing won't make it so, and in the meantime, it would be rather stupid of me to wallow in self-pity over my state. I'm like the best friend in the movie who's loveable but for all the wrong reasons. Like Janis Ian, I learned the truth when I was seventeen.

And finally, it would be oh so very convenient to say that I'm gay. Makes life simpler, a lot easier to fall back and become a stereotype. Naturally that isn't fair to me nor is it wise to stereotype homosexuals. They too, have deeper reasons for who they are beyond the understood convention.

So no, I'm not gay. Not even close. Not even that I love showtunes, dig the theater, or appreciate art. Gay people don't have a monopoly on the things I like.

Which goes back full circle - certainly it would be great to be in a relationship, to have additional purpose. But since I am myself, my own being, I am not and will not be validated by a specific relationship.

Wouldn't it be great to have my life defined by one?

I don't know. In the past two years, even here, I've had my chances. But no, still no ring. If it's not other people, it's probably me.

And that's the heart of it - I am not ready. Yes, I have a character defect. No different from others who get married and cash in on all the cliches - including infidelity, marital violence, or abusing one's children. No different from others who embrace misery for the sake of filling the social obligations of a marriage. They picked their poison, and so did I.

For now, I'd rather take the sin of omission.

Being married is not a bad thing - but it is not a good thing to get into because of social pressure. It will happen in due course. I won't be in this state of mind forever, or maybe someone will come along and help me take the next step.

Until then, I am single. I survive.

Epic Fail

John Mason (Sean Connery): Are you sure you're ready for this?
Stanley Goodspeed (Nicolas Cage) : I'll do my best.
John Mason: Your "best"! Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and f*ck the prom queen.
- "The Rock"

Thanks to Doug Benc/Getty Images.

I found some semblance of good news when I got up this morning. My beloved Celts won another nail-biter on the road against the Orlando Magic.

I'm sure the casual observer won't care and the rabid fan has probably had indigestion over this piece of news, so I won't rehash the details. Go find sports bloggers.

Just my little take-away from this --- in sports as in life, we have a surfeit of front-runners. And, as with most front-runners, when push comes to shove, instead of focusing, they fold. Instead of rising to the occasion, they crack under pressure.

I don't want to hate on the Orlando Magic, but no one assembles a team of "nice guys" and expects to win the ultimate prize. Cuteness and public relations win you fans, but they don't win you championships. For years, many people hated on the Spurs because they played a style of ball that hardly pleased the crowd. But no one could deny their championship record and performance.

Losers only whine about lost opportunities. Winners revel in making their own luck.

You Know You've Watched Too Much Political News When...

Falling Down
(Music and Lyrics: Noel Gallagher)
(Oasis)

A summer sun that blows my mind
Is falling down on all that I’ve ever known
Time will kiss the world goodbye
We're falling down on all that I’ve ever known
Is all that I’ve ever known
A dying scream makes no sound
Calling out to all that I’ve ever known
Here am I lost and found, calling out to all

We live a dying dream
If you know what I mean
And all that I’ve ever known
It's all that I’ve ever known

Catch the wheel that breaks the butterfly
I cry the rain that fills the ocean wide
I tried to talk with god to no avail
I call him up in and out of nowhere
Said if you won't save me please don't waste my time

All that I’ve ever known is all that I’ve ever known

Catch the wheel that breaks the butterfly
I cry the rain that fills the ocean wide
I tried to talk with God to no avail
I call Him up in and out of nowhere
Said if You won't save me please don't waste my time

A summer sun it blows my mind
It's fallin' down on all that I’ve ever known
Time to kiss the world goodbye
Falling down on all that I’ve ever known
Is all that I’ve ever known

Wish I could be more elaborate about my state of the mind; well – this is the closest approximation. I could go on and on about everything else – but sometimes silence has the loudest voice, and all I can let out is a primal scream.

There, there. That’s the end of that nightmare. Time to wake up.

Beginning, Again

The beautiful thing about life is that while you are not ended, nothing happens to you. Maybe that's not such a beautiful thing, after all. The opposite of progress is not destruction - it's entropy.

What I actually meant to say is that - while one lives, there is always hope that things, however bad, dark, or depressing, won't be so forever. All these burdens, they shall pass.

Still, rocky times make for interesting times - or at the very least, a lot of fodder for some overdue bellyaching (in my case, it can never be overdue, with the size of my belly, LOL!). In the past few weeks I had decided to travel and leave KSA, reconsidered and took another job, planned for vacation but never got around to taking it, and then started my job in response to what at best was, being ignored by one's former colleagues.

Yeah, I've got it bad. I should be depressed, maybe shoot myself, even. NOT!

The beautiful thing about life is that when something ends, another begins. In the eye of whatever storm one may pass through, one can still pull out a chance to start something.

Is it all that fun to do everything all over again? I hope, this time, I have learned the things I needed to learn and do something different. Life-altering, even.

Well, maybe.

Spaced

"And above all things, never think that you're not good enough yourself. A man should never think that. My belief is that in life people will take you at your own reckoning."
--- Isaac Asimov

In the silence of my heart
I listen to You Lord.
In the emptiness of my mind
I submit to Your will.

There is no subtlety in which I can hide
There is no reticence into which I can sink.

Clipped Wings

Where there is no vision, the people perish; but he that keeps the law, happy is he. - Proverbs 29:18

One realizes that there are just a few paths left when anger takes over. I prayed to God for a resolution to my quandary with my passport, and all signs point out that instead of taking an ill-timed and hurried vacation, I'd rather go back to work.

Mind you, this was not an easy decision and I still feel I need the time off to go back home. But as I have learned the past few months, patience is a virtue I must still embrace. I have to get back to where I started, when the limitations to this place were all mental and my estrangement from the Philippines is merely a mental construct.

I must keep that vision in focus, lest again I fall prey to my weakness and fade away. I forgot that lesson last year, and paid for it dearly.

Of course I could still do it. The problem is, life goes by so quickly back at home they may have more need of me than I of them. I guess, they too, have their own thinking to do.

All Set for Overdrive

Nobody gonna take my head
I got speed inside my brain
Nobody gonna steal my head
Now that I'm on the road again
Oooh I'm in heaven again
I've got everything
Like a moving ground an open road
and everything

I love it and I need it
I seed it
Eight cylinders all mine
Alright hold on tight
I'm a highway star
--- Deep Purple, "Highway Star"

Yeah! Slot in the tape/CD/USB/iPod to the car stereo system and rev up the engine. My secret desire today is to drive a semi into the office of our government relations people and mow them down in one swift run-over. And if it isn't enough, back up a little and catch up on the stragglers.

I can't help it. I'm yearning to put my spirits on overdrive, and they're cramping my style. Seriously, they really are, but to give them the benefit, things aren't much in their control. On the other hand, most of them are doing so little to change the way they work.

Still, one learning I can pick up from here is that we often demand too much from others as opposed to giving ourselves a break when we fail. If we put the pedal to the metal, then we must do it for ourselves too.

Of course, the sneaky-dark feeling keeps on creeping up once and again. It's the fourth day of passport watch, and if I have to take the fifth I might seriously go "Jeremy" on these fellows. Yes, grasshoppers, run around and beg for your lives!

Scrunch, crunch.

Coming Home

And the king was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son! - 2 Samuel 18:33

I wish I were writing of happier times now as I am making plans for coming home.

I haven’t been in the Philippines for twenty months – longer than usual for me, but not so much as for others who have made a life here in Saudi Arabia.

There was so much drama going on in my life the past two weeks – from the fateful decision to turn my back on my company, to the amazing opportunity made available by one of my former bosses, up to the time I accepted the job offer. That would have ended it, except that I couldn’t travel back to the Philippines because of formalities in processing my documents.

It’s been a week since that day that my life had been stopped and started – a few more dramas like not having funds available from the bank, the tension of waiting --- and waiting. I had packed Saturday evening since my flight was scheduled at 1:10 Monday morning. I could hardly sleep – anticipating, with half ruefulness, that the drama was about to end.

But another moment for drama came --- I received a text from our mutual friend Charlie that Kuya Josue was being revived at the hospital. The gravity of the news hadn’t sunk in yet --- he was being revived as he had already flatlined.

Perspective

Well, this post must come in one way or another.

To our Lord in Heaven, I would like to say thank you for another day in this life. Another cycle has been completed, another year has been hurdled. Of course, it's just any ordinary day.

The world isn't any more special because I was born this day so many years ago. It was another day just like the others that we let pass through our lives.

Because we do. Sometimes, events awaken us and bother us to try and take stock of our existence. For some, it is observing the tides of history as they swirl back and forth and around the important figures in the life of our nation. For others, it is through the fortunes being made, about to be made, and soon to be lost in the world of commerce.

For others it is human achievement in the field of cooperation, in competition, and sometimes with both.

For most it is tragedy, whether direct and personal, or experiences lived vicariously in the lives of others.

My life, in perspective, is no more than the sum of experiences that come to bear on this moment, this reality. It can only be special because others make it so.

My mind tells me, intellectually, that some part of existence has made sense, that I should be glad that I am living the life that I am living now, that I am much more fortunate. I must have wasted more opportunities that life has made available for me than what has been available to others. And yet I am still here.

I am not dead. I am not ended. This life is not without purpose because today, and the past few months, have been personal lows. And yet, yes, I have to fight back my own tears welling up in me, of shame that I have not made the most of what I have been given, and of immense gratitiude that I have been given so much.

I celebrate the living that I have gone through and that others make me feel special and purposeful, even though at times it doesn't feel that way.

There were universes of regret that I went through when former President Aquino passed away. I smile at the people who belittle her contributions to the world stage; at the same time I squirm every time someone utters her name like a benediction.

This generation, my generation, must never forget what the first Edsa made possible --- that we are capable of coming together, inspiring one another, forgetting our self-serving agenda. That was the seed Cory Aquino planted. She tried her best to keep it going during her administration, but in the end, good intentions, and the desire to uproot or destroy the vestiges of dictatorship, are never enough.

The dream was there, but we woke up to something else. And for most, it was that the dream was betrayed, with epic fails at the Presidential Commission for Good Government, the flawed Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Law, numerous rightist coups, and the worst - that the mechanisms for oppression remained, only that new people were in the saddle.

For me, it was that the dream was fragile, and that like most people who had just broken out of jail, the prisoners savored freedom too much but did not want to take responsibility, or did not have the tools to do so.

I cried for Cory because I cried for that part of our nation's spirit that has been betrayed so many times, that, like a battered child, it knows no more than to batter back. But all that child needs is acceptance, and inspiration to believe. When we lifted the veil of mourning, that was the spirit waiting for another chance.

I hope this time Noynoy Aquino and Mar Roxas do something different. My cynicism derides my hope, but I can keep dreaming. So far, the "realists" have embraced the two-faced nature of Manny Villar, or the stolid business-as-usual stance of Gilbert Teodoro. Hmmm, yes, there are some attractions, but there isn't enough deodorant to go around to mask the stench of of decay and corruption.

All around the world, people have forgotten that it was we who made the banner of "people power" soar high. That many of the icons who rose during that period - Lech Walesa, Albert Fujimori, Vaclav Havel, Mikhail Gorbachev - have fallen short should remind us ideals do have a price, and to transform people it is not ideology, but integrity, that ensures success.

Harvey Dent in "The Dark Knight" says it so well- "You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain."

We have witnessed how things went topsy-turvy when the so-called moral guardians found themselves eating crow when their Anointed One, Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, just didn't turn out any more kosher than Erap - in fact, she was much more manipulative and Machiavellian than anyone expected. It was masterful and deliberate, the symmetry of her destruction has some appeal.

BREAK THE SEALS BREAK THE SEALS BREAK THE SEALS LET TARMON GAIDON COME!

When will we ever learn that the flow of history is against us, and without our own personal contribution, that tide will never be stanched.

I saw a Facebook post from one of my friends showing a YouTube video of "Banal na Aso, Santong Kabayo" by Yano which was filmed 15, 16 years back.

The generation that was ranting for change is the generation that is coming into leadership now. And that's us.

So what have we done so far?

Are we just mere witnesses? What happened to the optimism of "Yes We Can!" or the supposed sea change that was about to come? What now? Have we gotten too lazy, too jaded, to ever see that the light lit in the windy darkness, must now, more than ever, be protected against the forces of that darkness?

Where is the moral outrage now?

Just to put this world into its natural perspective.

And I still think my personal problems outweigh the world's.

It Isn't As Bad As You Think It Is

An Arabic proverb goes like this: "When what you want doesn't happen, learn to want what does."

I just finished the last post when I realized I should have ended it with this turn of phrase. Things won't turn around quickly, but at least you won't be as miserable while you're digging yourself out of that frickin' hole.

Breaking The Faith

Stopping updates to a blog is like rending a valued relationship to shreds --- it takes forever to get the tattered pieces back together, but you have to.

Because it feels good that I can be myself in this space, but don't have to be overindulgent.

You got me, Constant Reader (whoever you may be). I broke the faith, destroyed the covenant that binds the writer to his audience. I stopped writing. I lost my voice.

In much the same way I broke the tiny threads that bound this blog together, I pretty much fried 2009 - no great scientific discovery there - and let so many of the gains that I made during my stay here in Saudi Arabia ALMOST slip away.

Strangely enough, I find that most of what I did was necessary. Not correct, mind you, not correct at all, but we're not in the business of being prissy and perfect.

Long ago I already threw away a life of predictability and happiness for a life of meaning. Anyone can fault me, can reproach me for making that choice, and can smile in smug self-satisfaction over this and that material success or recognition they have accomplished.

People, you can do it. I know you want to. Say, "I told you so."

However, to quote one of my favorite existentialists, Mr. William Martin Joel, "You may be right, I may be crazy - But it just might be a lunatic your're looking for."

Face it, you need me. I may be all down and all that, but my karma is good, baby! I'm plugged into the purpose of my universe, and, to continue Mr. Joel's famous quote, "Turn out the light, don't try to save me..."

If it turns out bourgeois mediocrity is where most of us are headed, well, pardon me if I'm not rushing to be in line. I may be slow to the goal, but I'll appreciate all the more for savoring the sweets of the other side.

But enough of that. I almost closed down this blog - I even came up with a post, "Coming Home." Yes sir, I almost did that, but it just wasn't meant to be.

This land has a claim on me for a little while longer.

So, until then, I'll be seeing you around.

Just Because...

Down in the Hole

When you walk through the garden
You gotta watch your back
Well I beg your pardon
Walk the straight and narrow track
Iff you walk with Jesus
He's gonna save your soul
You gotta keep the devil
Way down in the hole

He's got the fire and the fury
At His command
Well you don't have to worry
If you hold on to Jesus' hand
We'll all be safe from Satan
When the thunder rolls
Just gotta help me keep the devil
Way down in the hole

All the angels sing about Jesus' mighty sword
And they'll shield you with their wings
And keep you close to the Lord
Don't pay heed to temptation
For his hands are so cold
You gotta help me keep the devil
Way down in the hole
--- Tom Waits, "Way Down in the Hole"

I spent the better part of my downtime watching the complete five seasons of "The Wire" from HBO. It has been some three-odd years since I wanted to see the show, but of course it isn't available on Philippine TV (it took some time before local execs warmed up to "The Sopranos," and then again, still with heavy censorship), and I didn't have access to the DVDs. The show came highly recommended from some of my friends, though seriously I only picked up on it because two of my favorite sports bloggers, Bill Simmons and Jason Whitlock, dedicated an entire podcast to it in March 2008.

The show is gritty, grey, and heavy on realism. Policemen and criminals are treated humanly, i.e. the cops are not white knights and the crooks are not outright blackguards. The show started slowly because of the dense backstory and preparation for future events, but once things got together BAM! I was hooked. For several moments in the show I was waiting for some deus ex machina or some cheeseball endings or events (alright, I have to admit Omar Little's portrayal in Season Five was a bit of a stretch), but it never happened.

Bonus is that most of the guys are virtual unknowns outside of TV, though I recognized some guys like Dominic West (as the dickweed Theron in "300," playing Det. Jimmy McNulty), Larry Gilliard Jr. (as the sidekick to Sarah Michelle Gellar in "Simply Irresistible," playing D'Angelo Barksdale), Frankie Faison, Wood Harris (from "Remember the Titans," playing Avon Barksdale), and my personal favorite throughout the series, Idris Elba (various movies, but the one I remember best is "The Gospel"). Elba's Stringer Bell is, without doubt, one smooth mofo. I don't want to spoil the show for you, you've got to see it.

The haunting title track is amazing. I am seriously looking into starting a Tom Waits collection.

Wizard's First Rule

"People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they're afraid it might be true. People's heads are full of knowledge, facts and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true.

"People are stupid; they can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool."
--- The wizard Zedd, in Terry Goodkind's "Wizard's First Rule"

Watched season one of "Legend of the Seeker" and while it was a departure from the original "Sword of Truth" books, I didn't mind because Bridget Regan, who plays Kahlan Amnell in the show, is SMOKING hot. A little of the milkmaid-type along the Celtic prototype (examples: Lucy Lawless, Katherine Heigl, Meg Foster) but with a bit more character to her face. At least I can get a new inspiration. There's only so much you can get out of porn.

The Tragedy of Being Offline

This new modern world is just becoming too...modern for me. I mean, getting through the day to finish work and everything else depends greatly on computers, e-mail, decent telephone lines not including handphones.

So when I lost internet connectivity in the middle of June, it was like my world collapsed. At least my Internet identity, that is. I lost track of my Facebook updates. I couldn't sign on for all the Michael Jackson updates, the Farrah Fawcett updates, the rites of indignation over PGMA's State of the Nation address.

And yeah, I couldn't rant about how hard it was to eat crow over the LA Lakers winning the NBA title.

I couldn't express my jubilation when Roger Federer won at Wimbledon and thus pass Pete Sampras in the Grand Slam race among men (People conveniently forget Steffi Graf had 22).

I couldn't say my say about the ongoing turmoil in Iran, or how the current administration in the United States is being hamstrung by its own ideals.

The tragedy of being offline is that somehow you become less of yourself to the outside world. The truth is, you are more of yourself when you are not facing the computer and living life.

(And in the meantime, when my internet bill arrived it was, literally, a hot poker up my ass. It hurt --- I never knew it could cost that much. Lesson learned.)

Simple, But Not Really.

I'm sure many of you had that sick feeling of just having too much going on, you just want to shut down and stick your head somewhere like an ostrich in the sand. Well, that's how I felt about the past two weeks or so.

Sensor in my brain beeped loud and clear: INFORMATION OVERLOAD! Must shut down!

This whole Hayden-Katrina thing sends one clear message to the world about Filipinos - our concern about our public lives ain't worth no shit, please excuse the bad grammar. The sane things most people forget when they get into the discussion:

1) Private perversions, etc. --- If one wants to indulge in it, by all means get your partner to agree before going into it. Drugs, S&M, voyeurism, you name it, if you want to get into it, don't take unilateral action.

2) Public domain in private perversions --- Why the hell should we care? Unless...

3) Ethics in the public domain --- Hayden Kho, Jr. is a doctor and took the Hippocratic Oath. If he can't stay a decent person, he must, at least, for the sake of the profession, maintain the pretense of being one. Which leads us to the last premise...

4) Things that really matter "in aid of legislation" --- And investigations into the sordid sex lives of boy-toy cosmetic surgeons, the girls who become their thralls, their deluded mothers, or their Botoxed sugar mommies with aspirations to glory shouldn't be daily fare in our Senate. Thanks to the likes of Bong Revilla and Jinggoy Estrada, the circus is in town. Makes the notion of ethics being synonymous with "Philippine Senate" becoming all the more absurd.

As for the so-called "victim" (who ends up the winner in this issue all around, outside of the tabloids and showbiz talk shows), Katrina Halili, I have one message for you - You go girl! If you want to hook up with any random dude with looks or money (preferably both, if I read you correctly), go do it! Screw your way to the top of the showbiz heap if you believe that's necessary. It sure sucks to be notorious (but someone has to do it, 'no?), but it's always a good substitute for achieving success with your rather limited talent.

In the meantime, Congress foists on the Filipino public the monstrosity that is the Constituent Assembly for Charter Change. An abomination so vile I will endorse its abortion if it were a fetus. Jamby hasn't exactly killed off Manny Villar's ambitions with the C-5 scam, but it sure looks like Ping Lacson's withdrawal has been secured with the threat of new investigations. Hmmm, he may not have actually lost here, being kingmaker sometimes beats being king...

Also lost is the fact that for all the good work being put in by our public sector doctors, the Department of Health isn't up to snuff in handling epidemics. Be glad that Influenza A(H1N1) isn't your superkiller, the uncontrolled spread in the past few days shows we don't have the ability to fight back the virus, only to contain it...

I'm glad sports makes up for the vacuousness of life. I wanted Man U win the UEFA Champions League, but Barca winning it, and in such overpowering fashion, is a great substitute.

I'm happy that Roger Federer finally got over the hump and won the French Open this year. It's not the same seeing him beat Robin Soderling in the final, but Soderling beat that cabron Nadal and that's what matters. Glad to see Djokovic getting wiped out early, that fellow needs to be put down a peg or two. Sorry that Roddick isn't cut out for clay, and like Tim Henman, is proof that nice guys somehow don't succeed as much as they should. On to Wimbledon, Roger!

I'm glad that the ho-hum way Tiger Woods is stamping his dominance on the sport is turning me off; sometimes you don't have to witness greatness, just living in its shadow (and besides, I really hate watching golf).

And finally, I find myself strangely cheering on the Lakers in the NBA Finals. Maybe it's true I like mean mofo-egomaniacs like Kobe (who, like Hayden, should be listed as a confirmed sex offender). Maybe I prefer Phil Jackson's sangfroid than Stan Van Gundy's self-deprecation (to be fair, I haven't seen self-deprecation done with so much self-centeredness other than Larry "Nomad" Brown).

Or maybe, deep inside, I hate seeing nice guys like Dwight Howard --- though, in fairness to me, his "niceness" seems more to be a put-on than real. No real nice guy throws his coach under the bus just to flex his "muscles" in the team's pecking order.

Because, maybe, in truth, there are not a whole too many nice guys left.

Lubog Na.

Bankruptcy looms for GM; Chrysler awaits fate - Yahoo! News

Some Earth Mover...

Toddler buys earthmover in online auction - Yahoo! News

Now this is starting them early on that consumer lifestyle.

Congrats to the mom.

Underdogging

So the Final Four of the NBA Playoffs are on and four intriguing storylines coming up:

- LeBron James and the Cavaliers, playing on a seemingly mystical higher plane, coming off two sweeps heading into the Eastern Conference finals with hardly a significant challenge;

- Kobe Bryant and the Lakers, myth of invincibility shattered after being taken to the limit by a scrappy and undermanned Houston Rockets team, troubled by not being able to focus consistently on winning;

- Dwight Howard and the Magic, finally validated by beating a battered Boston Celtics that was running on fumes, after struggling to turn in clutch performances in games they should have won outright;

- Carmelo Anthony and Chauncey Billups on the Nuggets, surprising everyone with their moxie, athleticism, and team togetherness after being written off in the preseason and the Allen Iverson departure.

I'll go out on a limb and root for the Nuggets on this one, even though I traditionally don't support Western Conference teams. Since the Celts are out there's no way I will root for the Magic (who could have been embarrassed big-time had they lost to the Celtics) or feel good about LeBron. Yeah, the kid is phenomenal but give me some time to warm up to him. After all, it took me ten years to like Michael Jordan. (I was secretly rooting for Barkley and the Suns to knock the Bulls off in '93.)

Well, there's Kobe. As much respect I can give to the man, who at this stage of his career is the best basketball player in the NBA (counting team and individual achievements), I just never liked him. Anyhow, it's not really his fault, I would have supported any egotistical bastard like him if he played on my team. Since he plays for the Lakers, I can afford to hate him a little bit more.

So I pick the guys who were ruled out to make the postseason after dumping Marcus Camby and sticking with Iverson. Thank God they threw AI out of town, and probably couldn't wait to scrape his tire-tracks on that team. Chauncey Billups has been a blessing, but after watching this team several times it's obvious that the play of their underachievers Nene, Kenyon Martin, and J.R. Smith has been their meal ticket to success.

Their odds aren't so good, judging by stats and head-to-head match-ups, but with the Lakers showing some wobble in the Rockets series, they still have a puncher's chance to take the series. From there, who knows?

Bawal Maging Emo...

...kapag natalo ang paborito mong team sa Game 7 ng napakaimportanteng series. Pasensya na, Boston, hindi natin taon ngayon. Maging masaya ka na lang na hindi naman nakakahiya ang ipinakita nilang fighting spirit, at umasa ka na lang babawi sila next year.

...kapag mistulang nireregla ang kasamahan mo sa opisina dahil ayaw
makatanggap ng kahit ano pa mang pagpuna. Banatan na lang nang banatan, trabaho lang naman, walang personalan. Kung mamersonal siya, manigas siya, siya ang talo.

...kapag hindi ka na naman napansin sa sipag na ipinapakita mo. Pakshet, magsikap sigruro magsikap ka na lang ng 70% ng 100% ng oras, mas masaya sila siguro kaysa naman sa 100% sa 70% ng oras, even though mas magaling ka doon sa pangalawa.

...kapag nangangatog ang kasu-kasuan mo at nahihirapang maglalakad. Mas buwakaw ka pa kasi sa buwaya kung kumain ng nakakatabang pagkain. Mas baboy ko pa sa baboy kung lumapang ka ng tsibog.

...kapag iniisip mo ang ating inang-bayan. Iniwan mo nga siya, magrereklamo ka pa. Magpasalamat ka na lang may tumanggap sa iyo sa labas at binibigyan ka ng mas malaking suweldo.

...kahit gusto mong maging emo, dahil OFW ka. Araw-araw, oras-oras, hindi mo alam kung kailan ka pauuwiin, hindi mo alam kung kailan ka uutangan dahil kinakailangan, hindi mo alam kung mapapalitan ang amo, o kung magbabago ang saloobin ng amo mo sa iyo.

Bawal maging emo dahil wala ka sa tunay mong tahanan, at kahit palarin kang kasama mo ang mag-anak mo sa ibang bayan, wala kang pinanghahawakan.

Bawal maging emo dahil baka makalimutan mo kung bakit ka naririto, at malululong ka sa bisyo, sa pakikipagrelasyon kahit ikaw o siya o kayo pareho ay may asawa, o pakikipagrelasyon sa kapwa mong lalaki (o babae). Ang kahinaan, kahit nauunawaan, ay hindi sapat na katuwirang gumawa ka ng pagkakamali o manatili sa iyong kinalalagyan.

Kung magiging emo ka, eh dapat sariwain mo ang simulain mo bilang isang tao, nang matupad ang pangarap mong isang araw, hindi ka na kailangang mang-ibang bayan, at nang sa ganoon ay ganahan ka sa hanapbuhay kahit marahil wala siyang kahihinatnan.

Ikaw lamang makakapagsabi kung magiging piitan ang apat na sulok ng buhay mo, o isa lamang itong pasubok para maiperpekto tayo ng ating Maykapal.