Under the Knife

Quotes of Thomas Merton: “Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another. We do not discover the secret of our lives merely by study and calculation in our own isolated meditations. The meaning of our life is a secret that has to be revealed to us in love, by the one we love. And if this love is unreal, the secret will not be found, the meaning will never reveal itself, the message will never be decoded. At best, we will receive a scrambled and partial message, one that will deceive and confuse us. We will never be fully real until we let ourselves fall in love – either with another human person or with God." - From Love and Living

It's official - my mother is having her hip replacement surgery sometime this morning Manila time. We (the family) had been expecting this for some time now, but it does not make it any easier for me.

I should have been there in Manila right now to support my family, but pride, stupidity and the difficulties of circumstance all conspired to keep me here. Objectively, of course, there is nothing I can do from here or there to aid in her healing process. BUT THAT'S MY MOTHER! You can exchange all the friends and the lovers in the world, but you will only have one beginning, and one mother.

If I could only be there to look into her eyes and reassure her that this is a standard operation, nothing critical, nothing to be really worried about. Of course half of that dollop I will say is more to reassure me than her.

Sure, it sounds lame that this bears down on me, but it's true. The best I can do, is to do what I always have done - live each day to the best. Well, I am not doing so good in that area, either, not yet 100%. But I'm getting there.

Hoping for the best and looking forward to her recovery.